Suspecting your husband is cheating on you?
Do you have a nagging feeling there is something wrong with your relationship? Clues that there may be somebody else in your husband’s life are not hard to find. But accusing your husband of cheating with no proof can backfire. You need to gather enough evidence before confronting him. To determine if your instinct is right or wrong, you can use the following list as a guideline.
1) Is the wedding ring still where it belongs? Don’t overlook the obvious. If your husband stopped wearing his ring recently, it is time to be suspicious.
2) Find clues in his car: receipts, unusual smells, cigarette butts, displaced passenger seat, unexplainable extra mileage. If he is cheating, you will find tons of clues in his vehicle. A cheating husband can always come up with an alibi to prove that he is innocent. He can name a name and place to cover his tracks. You must check out these names for yourself. When you get close to the truth, a cheater will have a hard time finding answers. If he starts beating around the bush or stammers before finding an answer, it is almost certain that he is lying to you.
3) He is not allowing you to contact him at work. Many extramarital affairs begin at workplace. If recently he requested that you do not call or visit him at work, he may be spending long lunch breaks or those late hours with the opposite sex. A lying cheater often has to stay at the office until late hours to get his work done. This is the easiest excuse. You might have to make unannounced visits to his office to prove that he is really there.
4) His friends or co-workers behave strangely in your presence like avoiding eye contact or showing uneasiness. They may be aware of a secret relationship and feeling guilty about it.
5) Excessive cell phone use. Pay particular attention to secret phone calls. If you find the secret number that he has been excessively making calls to, you can find the identity of his mistress and can confront him with hard evidence. Without any hard evidence at all, your husband will never admit he is cheating.
Take a sneak peak at his cell phone. A cheating husband is always protective of his personal belongings especially his cell phone, but there will be moments when he leaves his cell phone around the house unguarded. At this opportune time, write down all the unusual numbers you find on his cell phone.
Is there a better way to catch a cheater than following him to every place he claims to be? There is a stunning trick you can use to catch a cheating husband. It is called reverse phone service. This is where you just enter the phone number of the person you suspect your husband is seeing, and the system will show her identity within seconds. If you can just get hold of her number, you can find out who she is.
Search “reverse phone lookup” in Google and you’ll find several sites which offer this service for free or for a small fee. You will be given all the information you want particularly name and address within a matter of seconds.
Using this easy method, you will know the identity of the woman your husband has been in contact with. If you know who she is and what kind of relationship she is having with your husband, you can prove if your hunch is right or wrong. Catching a cheating husband has never been easier.
Why Do Men Cheat?
Cheating is often an attempt by a man to make himself feel better. His cheating has less to do with you or with sex. Men’s lame excuses for cheating must be familiar to all first wives.
“My wife doesn’t understand me.”
“My wife doesn’t appreciate me.”
“The passion has died out.”
“She doesn’t give me enough attention.”
Is any of the above reasons true? Most of the time, it isn’t. It is just an excuse to cheat. A lot of married men who cheat have strong marriages and fulfilled sex lives, but they cheat because they aren’t happy about themselves. They may be feeling older, vulnerable, and losing their self-esteem. Extramarital affairs with younger women make them feel powerful again.
Sex with a mistress is just a diversion that makes a cheating husband forget his self-doubt temporarily, but this diversion will never last. Sometimes, when he realizes that he is seeking relief from his self-doubt the wrong way, he can just return to the first wife without anybody knowing about it. If he is less lucky, he may get caught or his new woman just won’t let him go. Most cheating husbands will learn the hard way that cheating isn’t going to fix their problems.
What Should the First Wife Do With a Cheating Husband?
1) Kick him out.
2) Forgive him.
3) Give him another chance.
Any of the 3 decisions is tough. Take some time to ponder the consequences before you make the final decision.
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These are 7 steps that you should consider before you decide which path you’ll take.
1. Don’t get even. Getting even by having an affair won’t solve the problem but will make the matter more complicated. Trying to get even will prevent you from moving on in your life.
2. Keep calm and don’t fall apart. It’s alright to cry, but remember that your life isn’t over. What just happened to you may be scary, but you’re not the only person in the world who has this experience. Millions and millions of other women do too.
3. Don’t wallow in self-pity. It’s true that you didn’t deserve to be cheated, but feeling like a victim and playing the victim card will only destroy your self- worth. There is nothing to gain from self-pity.
4. Keep the kids out of this ugly matter. You two adults have to deal with it by yourselves. Tell them what they need to know, but never ask them to take sides.
5. You and you alone will decide whether you should leave him or forgive him. You know what’s best for you. Your Mom, Dad, brothers, sisters, or best friends should have no say in your decision. People around you tend to have conflicting opinions. Your best friend might urge you to dump him, but your Mom might go in the opposite direction. The more you listen to others, the more confused you’ll be. Only you know if this relationship is worth salvaging. No other person understands the dynamics that go on between you and your partner.
6. Don’t pretend that nothing ever happened. Of course, it’s painful to think about the cheating. Wouldn’t it be better to ignore the infidelity so that you won’t be hurt so much? Pretention will only keep the issue dormant for a while, and it will eventually erupt. Your resentment will be growing from day to day while the relationship problem remains unsolved. Face the facts and figure out why the infidelity happened. After you analyze the facts long and hard, it’s time to decide what to do next. But never pretend that it never happened.
7. Don’t dismiss counseling. Counseling will give you a better understanding of what just happened. Trained counselors can help you erase the feelings of guilt and shame. They will not make a decision for you, but they can help you make better decisions.
If you don’t have the time, I recommend this course by relationship expert James Bauer. Based on over 12 years of research and experience, this course helped me gain an in-depth understanding of men that I never knew existed. It may not be as effective as real-life counseling, but it once helped me make a correct decision about my relationship. It helped me understand men better. Nagging questions like these evaporated after going through the course:
–Was it my fault or his?
–Should I leave him or forgive him?
–If I forgive him, how can I be sure that he won’t cheat again?
All the answers are in there. James Bauer won’t make a decision for you, but he will help you make a better decision. He will help you understand men thoroughly. No stone is left unturned.
